I’m tired…
of never being good enough.
Of never meeting your expectations.
Of always offending you, without meaning to, for no logical reason.
Of having to fall to my knees and beg forgiveness, even when I don’t think I’ve done anything.
Of being held as “the friend” who has no rights and who is supposed to follow your every command.
Of being totally ignored when I do anything that you don’t like.
You hurt me. You hurt me a lot. You have no idea.
Even though according to you, you’re the only victim.
And I’M the criminal. I’M the one to blame. I’M the one who doesn’t know how YOU feel, and who continues to hurt you despite the fact that you keep telling me not to.
—–
And it amazes me that no matter what I say, at the end of the day I’m going to beg for forgiveness, tell you something, you’ll forgive me, and we’ll laugh and talk like nothing happened.
Then when I go to bed, I’ll cry to myself. Cry over what I’ve become. Despite my best efforts at being a unique, loved individual. I finish the day as a “weird.but.we’ll.just.use.her.as.a.follower.for.our.own.gains” “friend”.
*sigh*
Why are the ones you love so far away when you need them the most? When you need that comfort, you need someone to cry to and bother and hug, your the loneliest person ever.
Who knows.
little do u know i’ve been crying for the past 2 days about this, but whatever cuz I try to explain it to yu and you completely miss the point
thats all you say you know. “completely miss the point”
check your email. >.<
i’ve gone through that a thousand times. saying sorry, asking for forgiveness..and now im kinda getting tired. but i dunno. i’m fighting. to prove my worth i guess. i’m doing exactly as the ‘person’ says but only because then i can say HERE I AM. NO U LISTENN TO ME. NOW U FOLLOW MY ORDERS.
its my first time on this blog..and this is the first post i read. jsut thought i’d tell u this. take care of yourself. i dont know what else to say. cause i went through the same. but things do get better. theyve gotten better for me.
First… Welcome to my blog.
Thanks so much for your comment, truthfully its helped me. Think clearly at least. I hope your situation gets better as well, and word of advice: A relationship of any kind where you have to prove yourself, isnt a relationship. All the best. Come back and read sometime. 
darling if some1 is using u..u shud tell certain people:
-big brown kid in mass
-white indian in tampa
-ur lovie in orlando:)
n now that we are all notified of ur situation we shall b down pronto to RUN OVER WHICH EVER LIL RETARDED BABOONS BUTT HU THINKS DEY CUD MESS WIT MY LOVE:) hapily
~saudah alladin:)
LOL thank you love.
“white indian in tampa” says “me and saudah can do the running over. all the big brown kid in mass has to do is SIT on the person and juss like that, they die.” xD
because you change around my words to make it in to something else could you be a bit more obvious abt the big brown kid who sits in mass?